Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
