C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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