brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
