I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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