I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
