I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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