There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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