I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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