its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
