I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
