lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
