I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
