Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Vodka?
Forever.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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