real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
