there's paper in my vomit.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize