Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
