somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
