you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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