did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
