This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
