im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
