Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
