no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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