you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
