Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
