ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
