I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize