My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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