I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize