Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
