He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
