piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
