he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
