he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
tequila makes me forget i have legs
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
