I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize