You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
