I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize