Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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