i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
