I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
