I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
