its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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