hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
