Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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