On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
