Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
