i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
