her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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