Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
