'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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