He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
