Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
