There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
