used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize