I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
