Its about making memories worth repressing
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have feelings that need drinking.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
