Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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