Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
