As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize