i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
