Well douche your snatch and let's go!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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