sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
