My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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