k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize