please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
